At some point, we all experience grief and loss, tragic life events like the death of a loved one. But as drummers, how do we handle having to do our job? Having to play a gig or do a recording session while dealing with this grief?
We all deal with grief differently. So, I can’t tell you what to do here. And each situation can be different. But here are some things to consider. The tension is between doing the gig, whatever it is, and dealing with the difficult situation at hand. So to think about it logically, what is the situation about both sides of the tension?
What’s the situation with the gig? What’s at stake if you cancel it right now? Is this your project or are you working for someone else? Are there 50,000 people that are immediately waiting to hear you play, versus the situation with the tragedy at hand? Can you even handle doing this gig right now or would you be too distracted to do it? Can you deal with the issue immediately after the gig, or do you need to leave right away to deal with it?
These are some general things to consider. But as one gets older, we tend to put important things into perspective. The question often put forth is, what will you regret on your deathbed? Would it help to think about the situation through that perspective?
And on the other hand, playing music can be a coping mechanism. It can be a voice for self-expression and unspoken emotion. There are therapeutic effects of playing music. Doing the gig can help you deal with what you’re going through. You can find solace in your instruments during times of grief.
So, overall, I can’t tell you what’s right for you in these situations, but I hope this gives you something to consider if and when you face situations like these.
